evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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