I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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