after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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