before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize