anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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