we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sorry about my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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