I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize