My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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