Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize