Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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