I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize