ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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