Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize