So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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