so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize