I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Never underestimate the power of titties
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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