also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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