New invention idea: vibrating tampons
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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