just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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