oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize