My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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