Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize