we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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