but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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