Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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