Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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