Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Come see our sink grown plant.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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