We won't sleep together?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize