just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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