I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
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this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize