I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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