omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
how does that bad decision feel?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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