a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize