I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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