u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize