started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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