I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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