There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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