Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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