I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize