My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize