was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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