There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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