Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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