I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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