I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize