so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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