he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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