where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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