p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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