I CAN MOONWALK!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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